Big Fish Shrunken...

The other day I was having a lovely chat with my roommate. We were discussing our school life and how we felt that we were failing miserably. We agreed that neither of us have any friends, we were doing horribly in all of our classes, and we were broke and not good at anything! At home, I was a big shot on campus. I was considered smart, pretty, an amazing singer, I had it made in my insignificant little high school life. Then I came here and discovered it was all a lie.

BYU is a campus filled with amazing talented beautiful people!! When I came here I was not prepared for the change. To give you an idea of how I felt, here's how it went. The campus seemed to ask,

"Were you pretty? Everyone else here is prettier. Were you smart? Not here you aren't. Did you sing well? Everyone here can sing. You're good, but so is everyone else. You have no identity and you're completely average, if not below."

Not good tidings for the self-esteem if you know what I mean. But I have been dealt a revelation! Everyone feels that way. At least all the socially apt people do. All the freshmen are walking around thinking, "What am I doing here?"

Well I'll tell you what. We're all just the cream of the crop. There isn't another campus like this one in the world. There are beautiful, smart, talented, and virtuous people everywhere, but BYU campus is made up entirely of them. You just can't do better. And instead of feeling low, I have decided that I am good just for being able to be here. And even if I fail, it's not that big of a deal, for I failed doing my best, at a school for the best.

Family, the Important Thing

I know many people from many different walks of life and many different families. They're not all great, and they all have problems, as all families do, but the more people I meet, the more I am grateful for my family. I have a wonderful family, and although we're not perfect, we love each other and put each other first. I just wanted to inform you all of my love for them and share with you the things I miss most now that I'm not at home.

My sister is my best friend. She understands me like no one else can and she is the person I miss most. I feel as though I'm missing my other half. I am most looking forward to being with her again when I return home. I have wonderful loving parents who do everything they can for me. They support me in all I do, and believe that I can achieve anything I set my mind to. I still feel that love and support now that I'm away, but it is not quite the same. I miss the hugs, the sitting on the couch reading family scripture or just talking. I miss telling them everything. I even miss the bad jokes and irritating nicknames. My brothers are the best brothers around. I am sad that I can't enjoy their presence daily any longer, and I wish I could be there for my little brother as he starts high school. He is sweet and kind, and an amazing young man, and I wish I could be there to see him finish growing up. My oldest brother is getting married, meaning these few months are his last at home. It makes me sad that I cannot spend these last few months there with him.

And although I miss my family and all these things -- I could go on forever -- I am grateful to have my brother just older than me here with me. He is my rock and support as I struggle to adjust to college life. He is my mom, my dad, my brother, and often my only friend. I love him so much and revel in the chance I have to spend time with him while I can.

I am glad to be here, to be able to get an education, and that my parents did all they did to get me here. I cannot wait to see them and the rest of my siblings, and hope to make them proud.
I love you family!!

Becky